How many of us have a conversation with ourselves and say:
- I am not good enough?
- I am not worthy?
- I cannot make it?
How many times your inner voice tells you:
“The others are better than me”, “you are stupid”, “don’t even try”?
The inner critic can be ruthless and very destructive and in consequence you might not even try to achieve anything thinking “why shall I even bother if I am not going to succeed”.
The good news is that you can learn how to work with him and make your inner critic your best friend. If you mange to do it, your inner critic can become your biggest motivator and supporter in your actions.
There are many exercises to work with your inner critic but this is a simple task you can start with:
a) Listen to the words of critic – remember the situation when you have suffered / fail / been unhappy with the result. What thoughts come up in your head?
b) Focus on your body, the muscles, the breath – what do you feel?
c) Try to visualize your critic. Who or what is it?
d) Talk to your critic with arguments and facts:
e.g take the first critical thought from point one and answer the following questions:
• Is it really true or is it your opinion?
• What are your arguments?
• What proof/ facts do you have?
• Who says so?
• How do you benefit from such a self-perception?
• What do you lose by just thinking this way about yourself?
• What can you change in the future so you don’t feel or think this way?
The last but not least. Be gentle to yourself! Allow yourself to have shortcomings, to be pretty enough, and smart enough. If you mange to do it, you will release the tension and increase the feeling of satisfaction.