I thought I have decent level of self confidence yet I found out how many underlying beliefs I have and although in some areas of my life I am confident there are still areas that I need to improve it.
I found this paragraph below on mindtools.com website:
Self-confidence is about balance. At one extreme, we have people with low self-confidence. At the other end, we have people who may be over-confident. If you are under-confident, you’ll avoid taking risks and stretching yourself; and you might not try at all. And if you’re over-confident, you may take on too much risk, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities, and crash badly. You may also find that you’re so optimistic that you don’t try hard enough to truly succeed. Getting this right is a matter of having the right amount of confidence, founded in reality and on your true ability. With the right amount of self-confidence, you will take informed risks, stretch yourself (but not beyond your abilities) and try hard.
I like this balance idea a lot and yet I think that most clients I see suffer from lack of self confidence in many different ways. Some of them even might hold to some beliefs so strongly that they will not take any action at all.
To help you to recognize some areas you might want to work on, ask yourself these simple questions:
- When do I feel truly confident? Describe in as much detail as you can what was happening, who was there, did you have any expectations, or were there expectations from others? What type of relationship/s existed, how were you feeling mental and physically?
- What is the circumstance that supports your feeling?
- In what areas I am not confident?
- What do I gain by being not confident in these areas?
- What could I gain by being confident in these areas?
See how you feel after answering them.